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literature
small town endless
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Literature Text
When I first arrived
In town I thought
It's very small
Compared to where
I came from. Friends
Would meet randomly
On the streets.
It is dusk and
The horizon expands
Infinitely and
The town with its
Narrow pathways,
Cobblestoned,
Turns into a maze.
Now that I have
Met you that night
And still not run
into you again,
The town becomes
Too big it seems
Endless, empty.
In town I thought
It's very small
Compared to where
I came from. Friends
Would meet randomly
On the streets.
It is dusk and
The horizon expands
Infinitely and
The town with its
Narrow pathways,
Cobblestoned,
Turns into a maze.
Now that I have
Met you that night
And still not run
into you again,
The town becomes
Too big it seems
Endless, empty.
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After that night
© 2012 - 2024 rattakiti
Comments2
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I like the simplicity of this poem, it works in presenting an image of the town and capturing the emotions.
I find some of the enjambment a bit jarring. I'm not sure exactly what you were going for with those. Some of it works quite well, but I feel some of it stops the flow of the poem.
Also, some of the punctuation doesn't quite work with me. This is particularly in the last few lines:
"The town becomes
Too big it seems
Endless, empty."
Should there not be some sort of punctuation separating "too big" from "it seems" as they are separate clauses?
I did, however. enjoy the poem for its sheer simplicity.
I find some of the enjambment a bit jarring. I'm not sure exactly what you were going for with those. Some of it works quite well, but I feel some of it stops the flow of the poem.
Also, some of the punctuation doesn't quite work with me. This is particularly in the last few lines:
"The town becomes
Too big it seems
Endless, empty."
Should there not be some sort of punctuation separating "too big" from "it seems" as they are separate clauses?
I did, however. enjoy the poem for its sheer simplicity.